A Sad-sad CNY

The first day of CNY was an exciting day for both my husband and i.
Despite that this year is the first year for us to give out ang pow to the 'little ones', we were pretty excited and looking forward to spend our CNY morning with Julian's grandma (or as we called her MaMa) in Damai Specialist Centre.

MaMa was admitted to DNC right after our wedding because her back gave her so much pain and it was unbearable.
Doctor said one of the bone in MaMa's spine had fractured, and that she was malnutrition.
Even so, with proper care, she 'will be ok'.

Who could have known that something bad would happen sooner than we expected.
At midnight, we received a call from my Dad-In-Law that MaMa went to a Comma.
We rushed to SMC and found her in a very weak stage.
She was then transferred to QE the morning after with her life supported by machines and medicines.

It was only a matter of time...

It saddens me because just few hours ago, MaMa was on the phone talking to relatives and greeted them with CNY wishes.
Yes, at 92 years old, her mind was still very sharp.
She even remembered to give us Ang Pow, mind you.
While chatting, we asked her to stay strong and to hold on a little longer; and who knows, if god permits, we'll try to get her a great grandchild for her to play with.
The statement made her happy.

Unfortunately, her body was not kind to her, and that god loves her more.

MaMa passed away right in front of my eyes, at 5.35pm.
I saw her heart rate depleating from 50 to 0.. And suddenly went as high as 90 and back to 0 again.
At that exact moment, I saw her tear went down on her right cheek.

As the young doctor mentioned "Puan Sudah tiada", my husband and I stood there, not knowing what to say, what to do and what to feel.

It happened so fast.

It broke my heart to see my Dad-in-Law talked to her dead body as if she was alive, still trying to put a smile on his face.
Imagine that he stood by her the whole time, and missed her only by 20 minutes when he quickly went home just to grab a bite.

And so, our CNY week passed by with funeral preparations.
All relatives came back from afar, helping and supporting each other emotionally.
MaMa was cremated on Saturday, 3.30pm.

It was my first time experiencing a Christian Chinese funeral.
As a muslim in-law, i couldn't do much, other than helping them to cook and prepare lunch and dinner while they were praying, or standing by at Fook Lu Siew.

Before being cremated, I saw the shawl that I presented to her 3 years ago was included together with her other favorite items to be cremated with her.
She carried it the whole time especially when she was in the hospital.
I couldn't control my emotion ;(

After the whole funeral is done, we had a family lunch.
MaMa's death somehow brought the whole family together, and it was the greatest Lee family lunch i've ever attended, especially with my Mom-in-Law around :)

Thank you MaMa for staying strong, blessed and witnessed our wedding.
Thank you for accepting my tea during the tea ceremony.

Thank you for everything.

We love you dearly.


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