Healing a broken heart

Is there hope for healing a broken heart? More when you were caught off-guard by a betrayal, a shocking behavior, or loss of a loved one from a long term relationship.

Initially, you felt that you can cope with it, but shocking news/things suddenly happen abruptly, so fast, like a smack on the face. Especially when you know that you had given deep thoughts once upon a time ago, to let them go without being selfish and hurting them, hoping that they'll understand and be considerate to your feelings as well; but ended up otherwise; i.e. brainless and inconsiderate enough to even regard your feelings with their selfish and egotistical behaviour, god knows.

It's funny sometimes to think that love can make even the smartest person in the world become vulnerable and fragile. You would do anything to the point of putting up yourself to irrational behaviours which subsequently be taken for granted.

It's also shocking to think that you are easily replaced by someone new even though both of you are still in the healing period after a tough heart break. Especially when what you long for before is received by a new person but you. You'll begin to think what went wrong or what have not you give to be treated that way.

Suddenly you are feeling like you’ve lost all hope . . . you can feel a physical aching in your chest that leaves you wounded, scarred, harder to breathe and wondering… how can you ever hope to recover or discover what steps that can end this suffering?

When these things occur, all we need is sweet unspoken smile, a shoulder to cry on and a generous ear to hear what we have to say. I know it’s hard to hear friends and families repeatedly asking that if you’re ok but not believing when you say you truly are; and when you say you’re not, they’ll ask you to relax when you know it’s easier said than done. I also know that emotions are a vital part of the way we are made. Yet we can’t understand why it takes so long to heal from emotional injuries. Believe me, we would never prematurely remove a cast or sutures until the broken bone or skin was fully restored.

I guess the key to healing a broken heart is trust. Secondly is to 'Release' them by forgiving anyone we are holding a grudge against... Then we have to 'Refocus' by trusting that god is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope... and lastly 'Receive' the comforts god gives us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.

I am no expert nor had a perfect relationship. But I’m glad and proud that I’ve sticked with my relationship long enough, to believe in it, seen the ugly and imperfection side of it especially when I’m a part of what shapes them into what they are today, inside and outside. I’m also happy that though the ups and down I experienced in the past, I had never given up easily to try and make it work; despite whatever people around me say; which most of them I know is undeniable. I’m also glad that the new person in their live doesn’t have to see and experience all the hassle & heart breaking processing stage of an empty white box but a re-newed colourful packaging with an improved contents & flavourings shaped by me. It may sound unkind, but everyone around me knows that it’s true.

Fyi, the road only finally comes to an end when I finally must take a different route for a better opportunity; but sadly, my good intention was perceived by doubts. You know what? I have always had a big instinct which till today, never failed me. Part of it was the slight feeling that the decision I made is also what the other person wanted but unable to express it and have not had the guts to let it out especially after receiving so much from me.

Nonetheless, above all, do you know how to forget about an old love? You find a new love.. and when you do, you should completely immerse yourself in it. If that new love is true, then the old love will naturally become part of the past.. It's not that you can fall in love with someone new 'because' you forgot the old.. it's because you fall in love with someone new that you're able to forget about the old. Only love can heal a heart that was hurt by love.. think about it.. whatever you do or don’t do, you’re the one who always makes the decision.

Knowing we are loveable and desirable, but saying it’s just not our time for love -- or whatever the reason may be that we are still single -- is not always enough to stave off those feelings of panic or sadness. Yet the worst thing to do is to become bitter, cynical and assume that “all men are lousy anyway, so why even bother to care”.

I’m not sure about others, but as for me, it’ll be awhile for me to commit to a new relationship in a very short period of time. Even if you know that you can just snap your fingers and millions will come running to you with loads of sweet talks and promises, it is always unwise to carry past relationship baggage into a new one. Some people can do it, some don’t. And I choose to start with a solid friendship as the base before fully submerge myself into a new relationship. Heartbreak is indescribable.

Plus, the decision is partly by choice. I myself have found that the busier I am, the more I choose to spend what free time I get with people who are really worth that precious time. I don’t have the energy to spend time with just any guy to avoid being alone. And my friends are in agreement. Yet that doesn’t change the fact there’s that yearning for love inside me.

I am a veeeeeeerrrryyyy happy go lucky person. I laugh easily and I cry easily. I love giving presents. I love giving out surprises. I love to put a smile on people. What you see is what you get. That is me. People sometimes wondering where i get all the extra energy to be happy. I have dealt with so many people and I have learned a lot. I have also begun to learn to understand both sides and not judge a person only by the way they behaved.

As happily as I can be, I always wish that people won’t take me for granted. I am a person too and I can grow tired. I can grow tired if I have to work alone to be happy. Now, I am afraid to say the 3 sacred little words. What I can say right now is that i hope whatever I might have in the future can evolve into something beautiful and that I could spend the rest of my life with the new person, knowing that they will respect, care, protect and cherish me like no other and would never let me go.

I don’t know what’s best.. What is most right.. or whether I’ll be able to get through this without crying. No matter how much I think about it, I just don’t know.. I don’t want to be hurt anymore… and I don’t want to hurt anyone either.. I don’t regret anything that I’ve done or whatever decision I’ve made.. Never have.., never will... I just feel like I... screwed up a little... I just feel.. like I did something stupid.

Whatever it is, for every dream in our heart, god gives us inspiration; For every hope we seek, god gives us unexpected miracle; For every faith we believe, god blesses us more. All I have to do now is to have faith and leave the rest to Allah S.W.T. Amin.