Ice Kapas.. OoO.. Ice Kapas

Last Thursday, Caleb brought Foxy and I to an 'ice kapas' shop called 'Brother Su' somewhere in Lintas area. We went for a dessert right after we had our dinner at Secret Recipe.

Oh~ By the way, Secret Recipe S.U.C.K.S. I'm not saying all secret recipe. I only dedicate the above spelling to the Sabah branch. Dude! what happen to you guys? What happen to most of your delicious menu in KL? Where is my Chicken Cordon Bleu??? Where & What happen to my ever so delicious Chocolate Indulgence Cake that has the power to give me a mouthgasm??? Where is the Spaghetti with meatballs? What happen to your services?? A not-so-cook chicken kebab? A cold pumpkin soup??? Dah lah hantar lambat, even the Lamb Stew arrived earlier to most of the customers. And when one of the customers asked why the soup was cold, you even have the guts to reply 'is it suppose to be hot???' My goodness!!! Memalukan the original Secret Recipe!! Do u think most of the Sabahan don't know about your original menu? Tolong lah. We are not outdated as what you might think. Arghhh~~ Yada! Yada! Yada!

But anyhow, u guys must try the 'ice kapas'. It's like an ABC. The difference is, a normal ABC is a crushed ice inside a bowl with different toppings and syrups. As for this ice kapas, it is a formed of flavoured crushed ice, with fruits as toppings (i.e. if you ordered mango flavour, they will put mango on top of it) just like what I ordered. The best part is the evaporated milk mixed with condensed milk all over it. Oishiiiiiii~~~~ Sedaaaaappppp~~~ Delicious~~~~~ This is a Taiwanese style. Go and try it. You won't regret it.

David Chan's Wedding

David Chan, one of my colleague finally got married. His wedding reception was last friday (24th November). The newly wed couple are perfect for each other. They are like match made in heaven. As macho as he's already are, felicity (his wife) is also beautiful.

Marissa and I arrived quite late.. hihihi.. but luckily our seat reserved by Rebecca. (Thanks Becky!) By the way, I must say that marissa's outfit was gorgeous. Velvet in purple. Vast marissa! I bet tutturuttutu will never get the chance to see you wear that everyday.

Foxy wasn't able to come due to his sore throat and fever. Poor foxy. David's wedding was A-OK. I saw one of my friend Farinah talking to Yusran. Congrats to him coz he finally got the opportunity to meet and talk to her. Nyahahaha. One of the uncle just can't stop singing. i.e. before, during and after he got drunk. From pantun to a non-stop harmonica melody to 1-tune songs. He even invited us to sang 'Rasa Sayang' but ended up singing alone. :P

I went home around 10pm while the rest went to Shens. I know Vincent had a really good time there. :P Anyhow, congrats David Chan!

Karnival Hari Wanita 2006

Karnival Hari Wanita 2006 went well. The women portal survey also went well. But we do expect more crowd last weekend. Anyhow, it was my first time conducting survey and I thought that i couldn't do it..But eventually i realised it's not that hard. very easy indeed.. u just have to *Smile*! hmm.. pandai jugak aku ni. Hahahahaha. Whatever it is, you have to have muka tebal, if not memang rasa nak tampar2 jer orang especially those who just 'buat dunno' , walk away, and say things loudly behind us. Punjab! Macam we all can't hear what you said.

But I have to say, that one we can tahan lagi.. part yang paling tak best was the Loreal bitches. Each one of us had been rejected by them. Ei Loreal bitches. U suck big time. Cantik takper jugak. Ni dah lah make up tebal cam nyonya, u all make up my sis pun macam clown! Baka~ Sabar faranina~ Sabar..

On the first day of the carnival, Marissa and I did went for a manicure. RM10 only :D nyahahaha.. it took quite long though. As for the second day, both of us went for a free 1 nail extension and 3D design. Cun & the vastest!

My beautiful sister, Sarah also performed for the carnival. She did both batik fashion show as well as become the leader for the R&B dance. Vast adek aku. Rugi korang tak tengok. Hohoho! Masuk news gitu. My mom assist Toh Puan (TYT's wife) to officiate the show. Hmm.. why the heck did the hanging streamers terbalik. who did the gimmick??? Tsk tsk tsk..

Do you need more attention in your relationship?

Do you need more attention in your relationship?

This is the next article by Sarah Cavendish. Enjoy! - Aya

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Having a good relationship requires, amongst other things, that the individuals devote attention to one another. When life intervenes, and attention is lacking, one or other person can sometimes start to feel bad, start to miss the other person, start to miss engaging with the other person. This is not necessarily a sign that the person needs to toughen up and become less vulnerable, it is part of what it means to be human. Those who are happy not to see or talk to their spouse week in, week out may be proud of their psychological independence, but if you have a deep, intimate connection with someone, it is natural to want to engage with that person.

In some relationships, when people feel a lack of engagement, they are unable to express that openly and honestly. In many cases, they are unable to admit even to themselves that they feel such a lack. People think they should not feel like that. They see their need for engagement with the person they love as being a childish need for attention. Adults are supposed to be over that, they think. We're supposed to be independent and invulnerable. We're not supposed to need anyone.

And so, they panic. They start throwing damning-sounding labels around, and wondering if they need therapy. They despise their ‘co-dependency’ and deny their human need for attention and engagement with the one they love.

But because they do need attention, they are drawn, unconsciously, to destructive actions. They sulk, snap at the person when he or she is there, and pine when he or she is not. They are less kind, less accommodating, more defensive. They might pick fights.

None of this is necessarily conscious or intentional, and sometimes, even when those acting in these destructive ways can see that this is what they are doing and want to stop, they are unable to, because there is still a problem to solve – still a lack of engagement.

You might think that the answer to this problem is to lead ever more separate lives, working towards not needing the other person at all. After all, you would not want to demand more than the other person is willing to give. Demanding more than the other person wants to give is a recipe for trouble, as I have argued before. So having a goal of not needing the other person can be a valiant and honourable attempt not to impose on the other person.

But just what exactly is the point of being in a relationship if it is only theoretical and in your own mind? A relationship implies a connection between two individuals. If the relationship does not involve engaging with the other person, it is not a relationship you have, it is a fantasy. There is nothing wrong with having a fantasy; but don't confuse that with having a relationship.

Forget the ghastly psychobabble labels; forget the self-deprecation; forget the goal of not needing the other person. Instead, work towards being honest and open about your desire for engagement, without imposing on the one you love. The more you can be open-hearted and honest about your feelings, the easier it will be to meet your need for engagement in the relationship, and the less you will find yourself acting destructively.


Sarah Cavendish

I want it all, and I want it now!

I want it all, and I want it now!

“I want it all! I want it all! I want it all! And I want it now!”

– Queen: I want it all


This is an article by Sarah Cavendish. Enjoy! - Aya


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The other day, I heard the Queen song, I want it all, and have not been able to get it out of my head since. Sometimes I am so aware of my own mortality, of how short life is, and of how much there is to feel and do and experience before it's game over, that it is difficult to be patient. I want it all, and I want it now! As Freddie Mercury might have told you, tomorrow is too late, for tomorrow, we die! This is not a rehearsal, this is the final performance, and it will be over before we know it.

One of my friends has complained that I live my life at the speed of light, but to me, it sometimes feels as though everyone else is standing still, letting life slip through their fingers unlived. I am greedy for life, for love, for passion, and for knowledge, and my time feels too precious to me to fritter away in the name of politeness. If I don't want to see a friend or answer an email message, I don't. If I thought that I would live for ever, things would be very different (and I'd probably upset fewer friends with my impatience and what they perhaps see as my ‘selfishness’!) but they are not different.

So when I see a woman friend of mine impatient for intimacy, wanting her man to take control and do it now, wanting him to take a leap of faith and dare to accept the authority she is offering him, wanting real dominance and discipline and wanting it harder, more extremely, more, more, more, wanting him to take the risk of trusting her totally, wanting him to have the courage to go onward into love and life, I understand. And when I see a man I know wanting a woman so much that he is going out of his mind with desire and love for her, wanting it all, and wanting it now, and sometimes pushing her so much he overwhelms her, I understand.

But we have to remember that other people, including those closest to us, are not us. They are separate individuals. They have their own wishes, their own preferences, their own needs, and their own concerns. Ultimately, we all need to control our own lives. This includes the man you women so desperately wish would take the reins of your relationship, and it includes the woman you men wish would hurry up and take everything you are offering.

Pushing them won't help, it will only drive them away. I know, because I've been there too. You can only move as fast as you can move. No matter how much you might want to be able to go faster, love more, give more, understand more, be more be more obedient, or more in control, you can't effect these changes by an act of will. It takes time and creativity, and it is not something that can be done by someone else: you have to do it yourself.

It may seem obvious to you that your lover should change, and how, and when (now!) but beware self-evident truths, for they are often false. You do not know everything that is in your lover's mind, you can only ever know a small fraction of it, and you can only know a small fraction of the considerations your lover has. So when you think you know best how your lover should conduct his life, remember that maybe you don't actually know best at all. It is his life, not yours, and he must live it as he himself thinks best. He can only live it as he thinks best.

Yes, I know. How he lives his life affects you, so your pushing is not about getting him to change his life, it is about getting him to change just that part of his life which affects you. It's about give and take, it's about getting your legitimate and reasonable needs met, it's about being in this together rather than two separate, unconnected lives. If you may not give voice to your thoughts or ask for what you want, just what kind of relationship is it anyway? Can it even be called a relationship at all? Aren't you supposed to be a team? How can it be you and him against the world if he is dragging his feet? If he loved you, he would want to meet your needs. He'd find a way to give you the control you want. He would understand your need for discipline and consistency and deep conversations and little romantic gestures.

Maybe he would; maybe he wouldn't; but what about his wishes? What about his needs? Do you think that he is wilfully failing to meet your needs out of spite? Do you think he is failing to take you in hand because he wants to make you unhappy? Do you know what this feels like to him? Consider the sort of things people often say:

* “I need him to take me in hand and he's just not doing it.”
* “If you'd just put yourself totally in my hands and obey me…”
* “If you loved me you would want to spend more time with me.”
* “Why can't you be more like Blush's Gary?”
* “This has got to change [or else!]”

What it feels like is a lack of acceptance. Have you ever suffered the pain of a lack of acceptance by someone you love or care about? If so, you will sympathise with the person who wrote:

*My relationship went sour because my woman decided that things were always my fault.
*There's no way to live with someone who's decided they are perfection and you are scum.

How true. In her article, In praise of Fascinating Womanhood, Charlotte said that one of the things that book has taught her is to look at life and problems with a positive attitude:

I've found that simply seeing my husband in a different light has made a whole lot of difference in our relationship. When I started reading this book, it was to fix our marriage (and that means my husband). It turned out that what needed fixing was me and my negative attitude. I can now see how that was spoiling everything.

I too like this aspect of Fascinating Womanhood. It is a fact that if you keep thinking about all the ways in which your nearest and dearest fail to live up to your expectations, instead of accepting them as they are, you are much more likely to feel miserable. If you can't accept those you love as they are, and they do not want to change, it may be time to move on. Spending years trying to change a person is a recipe for unhappiness for both of you.

Sometimes, when you are in this sort of situation, you can't see the wood for the trees. You see only your own unfulfilled needs, and fail to see how painful it is for the person you love to be on the receiving end of the lack of acceptance that your unfulfilled needs represent. You feel like a victim, so your spouse must be responsible, and jolly well ought to change to meet your needs. Your needs are a tacit demand that your spouse be a certain way (whether he wants to or not) and do certain things (whether he wants to or not). Only then will your spouse become acceptable to you. Until then, your spouse is hurting you, wronging you, victimizing you – whether he wants to or not.

Think of it from the other person's point of view. How does it feel to be on the receiving end of your partner's unfulfilled needs? How does it feel to be held responsible for the unhappiness of someone you love, when you want more than anything in the world for that person to be happy? How does it feel to be accused of not caring, when you care very deeply? How does it feel when the one you love makes it perfectly clear that you are unacceptable and will have to become a completely different person or suffer their wrath for ever? It's enough to make a grown man cry. That's how it feels.

I was once hauled over the coals for absent-mindedly wandering ahead instead of waiting for the man I was with, when we were visiting an art gallery. Even after I had explained that it was not a slight, just absent-mindedness, he felt angry and slighted for ages afterwards. No matter how many times I assured him that I would never want to slight him, he just could not stop feeling aggrieved. That was just the start. It got worse.

He had a whole list of things I do or don't do that are Unacceptable, and he insisted on telling me about them, repeatedly. And it didn't matter how tired I was, or what time of night it was, or how many hours we had been on the phone, he had to be allowed to tell me then. And when I could take it no more and told him that I needed to sleep (well three hours ought to be enough conversation for anyone, surely?!) he would accuse me of never giving him time to talk, or of trying to avoid difficult subjects. Ouch! He also accused me of not caring about him. I cared very much, so this accusation wounded me deeply. But all he could see was his own pain. He was so wrapped up in his own needs and wishes that he rode roughshod over mine, and worse, angrily blamed me for failing to meet all his needs.

In failing to be whom he wanted me to be, how he wanted me to be, do what he wanted me to do, and feel how he wanted me to feel, I was, he thought, wronging him. I was hurting him. I was being nasty to him. I bore the responsibility for his pain, he thought. He said he was in love with me, but it did not feel like love. Given that everything about me was so unacceptable to him, I think his love was little or nothing to do with me. He informed me that Things Would Have to Change. They did. I showed him the door. Without acceptance, there is nothing.

Sarah Cavendish

You Can't Hurry, Love

Is it 'Love' or is it 'Lust'?

Aaah, one of the great fine distinctions of all times. Here goes.

"In love" is that giddy, crazy, hormone-fueled state that makes otherwise sane people do insane things -- like emptying their bank accounts to give to a brand-new beau present, being talked into having a quickie in the office bathroom with a faulty lock during a company party, and tossing off the words "I'm in love" when what you mean is, "I'm crazy in lust."

Loving someone is that rational though joyous state you arrive at when you've been with someone for a while, had countless discussions together about spiritual philosophies and life goals, know not just their erogenous zones but favorite ice cream flavor, have had nights where you'd rather just cuddle, and no longer consider them perfect (far from it!), but know that that's okay.

"In love" can develop into love, or it can fizzle into, "What the @#$@$ was I thinking?"

Anyhow, take a deep breathe. No, take four. The time it took most of us to breathe those deep ones is just about the time we've known one person we profess to love. The emotions we're feeling have little or nothing to do with him/her and everything to do with you.

To be more specific, most of us are suffering from insecurity i.e. you think you cannot be complete without a man/woman in your life. Of course that is not true. The truth is you can't form a lasting romantic bond until you can look in the mirror and like the solo (as in, not attached to a man/woman) reflection staring back at you.

Love is all about two independent individuals bringing out the best in each other, not merging into one person. And love is not about one somewhat desperate person clinging for dear life to a seemingly heroic mate.
In other words, it's great that we know that we have this obsessive tendency. Rather than attaching yourself prematurely to a man/woman you barely know (a move nearly guaranteed to drive him/her away).

Therefore, begin examining your heart to determine what void you expect your potential boyfriend/girlfriend to fill. The more you understand where you're truly coming from and what you're truly looking for, the sooner you will see him/her for who he/she is, not for who you want him/her to be.
Only time will tell.

Happy Birthday Cici!!

Dearest beloved sis, Cici........

Happy Birthday To You~
Happy Birthday To You~
Happy Birthday To Cici~
Happy Birthday To You~

Welcome to the 20s club my dear. Don't worry. From the look of your feature, you still look like a high school chic. (This is a compliment indeed). Muuuuaaaakksss!!!

Love always,
Aya & Family

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For Cici's bday present, My mom bought her A Durian cake.. Sedaaaaaapppp I tell you! Hahahaha.. She also bought her an Estee Lauder Make up Set with a dinner purse. My dad on the other hand bought her an Estee Lauder Perfume Set while my baby sis made her a beautiful home-made card (I gotta tell you, her card making creativity is improving and improving every year). She also bought Cici a pink wallet. Me? I bought her a pink shawl, Dermalogica Basic Kit Set as well as Ipod Nano together with its pink cover. Everything pink right? She's the pink fanatic ever since she was born. Hahahahaha. After the small celebration at home, we went to Garden Seafood Restaurant for our dinner.

Dearest Sis, we hope that you have enjoyed your birthday despite the slow service yang maha lembap and food yang sangat tak sedap at the Restaurant. Whatever it is, you will always be our favourite. Muaksss!! Happy Birthday!!!!

OCD

What is OCD? According to Wikipedia, Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder; more specifically, it is an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

But what will happen when it is affecting your friendship? When he or she can never understand the word rejection? When you and that person had never officially decided or confirmed the relationship to become girlfriend/boyfriend, but they are treating you like you are their husband/wife? When he or she quietly but still noticeable (baka!) touches you when at first you feel it's normal but eventually bring shiver to your spine? Does these fall in the obsessive category?

My opinion is, usually, when someone is that obsessed, they are not in love. Instead, they are trying to control their own insecurities and unhappiness. In other words, desperate.

Well, I can still tolerate if i have to, but I definitely won't settle with someone who is so self-centred, someone who always expect other people to get to know them, who thinks they are always right, who thinks they are the sanest person and feels that everybody around them are sick, who thinks that the world revolves around them, who think their own feelings matters than anyone else, who thinks they are the only human being that can feel angry or sad or lonely, who thinks it is not worth to get to know your friends and family and yada-yada-yada, even he is the last man on this planet. Full stop.

Happy Birthday Foxy!!

Happy Birthday Foxxxxxxyyyyyyyyyy!!

Foxy turns 25, yet he still looks like a high-school student (so he said...uwekkkk~ Tak kuaser..) When the clock strikes 12 a.m, all of us (Foxy, Me, Marissa, Caleb, Connie, Herman, Newman, Clifton & my family) were in the Growball Cinema watching 'Death Note'. Like any other birthday, we wished him a very happy 25th birthday.

Later in the evening, we went to Salut Seafood Restaurant for a dinner and to K-box karaoke after that. There, we sang our heart out (especially the birthday boy) and presented him with Chocolate Moist Cake. Marissa & Herman bought him an Octopus soft toy for him to play around with (dont ask, long story). Me on the other hand bought him a black sweater. He WILL look cool after wearing it. Why? Coz Faranina yang beli.. muahahahaha. I didn't stay till the end of the karaoke coz i can't go back too late.. Huhuhu... so jealous they had fun till 2.30 a.m

But anyhow, all of us wishes you a very-very-very happy birthday Foxy!! We hope you enjoyed our small celebration and presents. Muuuaaaaakkssss!!!

The Prestige

"A Friendship, That Became a Rivalry...A Rivalry, That Became a Battle"

To make it simple, here is the synopsis from cinema online:

“In 1878 two young stage magicians clash in a darkened saloon during the course of a fraudulent seance. From this moment on, their lives become webs of deceit and exposure, secrets and revelations, as they feud to outwit and destroy one another. Their rivalry takes them both to the peak of their careers, but with terrible consequences”


So as you can see, it is about magic. BUT, it is not merely a normal magic show; the whole storyline is the magic. As what magician always said “Are you watching closely?”. Yes, that's the tag-line for "The Prestige". So I advice you guys, reeeeaaaaallly concentrate on this movie; because if you blink and miss the sleight-of-hand that this movie really is, you’ll be surprise just like myself and everybody else.

Again, the "The Prestige" IS about magic, or rather the third part of a magic act where - to quote the magician's manager Harry Cutter's words (played by Michael Caine) - "the astonishment takes place as the audience cannot unravel a magician's secrets". So when you watch the movie, don’t expect the magic too ‘vast’ as the magic trick shown is still in the development stage of the Victorian era, aight?

As I was saying, in magic, there are three acts. There's 'a “pledge”, a “turn” and the “prestige”. To make it simple, The pledge is like the first act, to create a suspense before they cover the object, “turn” is when you reveal that the object has already disappear and “the prestige” in short, if a magician makes something disappear, he must make it reappear or there wouldn't be a climax and the audience's delight at the trick. And that's what "The Prestige" is all about. Therefore, the key to fathoming this most unusual movie, lies in its title.

Christopher Nolan, the director is a very-very-very clever indeed. It is so smart that you WILL appreciate the movie. After you watched it, you will realise that he IS doing 'a pledge, a turn and the prestige' without you knowing it, until the end. The whole movie is one big magic trick! (aih.. makin over excited plak aku ni..haha) The acting performances by Hugh Jackman, Christopher Bale and Michael Caine were the best I have seen in a long while. The only objection I had to the film was that it was a little long in the beginning, that my sister and my mom almost fell asleep. But Hambal (my cousin) and I, of course, were concentrating like we’re one of the critics. Hahaha..

Anyhow, to me, they are already a winner, and they should be up for some academy award statues or whatever…and by the way, since the handsome Hugh Jackman is from the movie X-men and Christian Bale from Batman begins, well… you will see a Wolverine Vs. Batman actions in there. So who wins? Go see this as soon as you can, you will not be disappointed.