You Can't Hurry, Love

Is it 'Love' or is it 'Lust'?

Aaah, one of the great fine distinctions of all times. Here goes.

"In love" is that giddy, crazy, hormone-fueled state that makes otherwise sane people do insane things -- like emptying their bank accounts to give to a brand-new beau present, being talked into having a quickie in the office bathroom with a faulty lock during a company party, and tossing off the words "I'm in love" when what you mean is, "I'm crazy in lust."

Loving someone is that rational though joyous state you arrive at when you've been with someone for a while, had countless discussions together about spiritual philosophies and life goals, know not just their erogenous zones but favorite ice cream flavor, have had nights where you'd rather just cuddle, and no longer consider them perfect (far from it!), but know that that's okay.

"In love" can develop into love, or it can fizzle into, "What the @#$@$ was I thinking?"

Anyhow, take a deep breathe. No, take four. The time it took most of us to breathe those deep ones is just about the time we've known one person we profess to love. The emotions we're feeling have little or nothing to do with him/her and everything to do with you.

To be more specific, most of us are suffering from insecurity i.e. you think you cannot be complete without a man/woman in your life. Of course that is not true. The truth is you can't form a lasting romantic bond until you can look in the mirror and like the solo (as in, not attached to a man/woman) reflection staring back at you.

Love is all about two independent individuals bringing out the best in each other, not merging into one person. And love is not about one somewhat desperate person clinging for dear life to a seemingly heroic mate.
In other words, it's great that we know that we have this obsessive tendency. Rather than attaching yourself prematurely to a man/woman you barely know (a move nearly guaranteed to drive him/her away).

Therefore, begin examining your heart to determine what void you expect your potential boyfriend/girlfriend to fill. The more you understand where you're truly coming from and what you're truly looking for, the sooner you will see him/her for who he/she is, not for who you want him/her to be.
Only time will tell.