I hate and loving facebook at the same time

It opened up my eyes in a way that I realise,
i've been throwing myself at people most of the time.

Going down the memory lane, being what I am, I've been too available, too supportive, too understanding, just to get disappointing result and heart ache in the end.
When the time is up, they happily move on while I stay the same.

The 'experimental' period of time that certain individuals have spent and gained from their time with me is now molded, sculpted and improvised, and the result is for their next person in life to taste - so happy, so blissful, with less effort required.

Which makes me wonder...

Am I not worthy to be treated the same way?

Action speaks louder than words.

Witnessing how other people get the treatment which I've always wanted, longed and hope for before is always hard to swallow; no matter how moved on i am.

I'm done being the one to call the shot;
the one to compromise most of the time,
the one to always understand even to the shittiest behavior and the one to always give in.

Have you ever wonder maybe I'm just too tired of that?

Being too independent, too available by fitting myself in other people's schedule or offering too many hands will only bring out the laziness in other people, less effort, less love, and me, getting less on what a girl/individual should have and be treated.

I love and grateful being the way I am,
but I must stop.

If only I'm given the chance to rewind myself,
this perfectionist and independent lady will be put somewhere only she knows,
not to be revealed,
ONLY when appropriate.
.

Comments

1 Response to "I hate and loving facebook at the same time"

maslight said... September 5, 2009 at 3:03 PM

I've been through that phase. You can't always be helpful all the time. People keep stepping on your heads with you noticing or not. I also was tired being that kinda person and tried to change myself but change is easily said than done.

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